When now I'm abit calm, things started to stir up.

First day of school after cny break and I saw him in school. Yes, is him. My heart was beating fast and goosebump creeps in. The first time I saw him (not sure if he saw me), he was heading to the washroom and after that walked past to where I was sitting and return back to his class. The second time I saw him was during his break, after going for his toilet break and off to somewhere else, he said hello to me. That 'hello' wasn't awkward but I slightly turn and awkwardly wave. I didn't expect him to say hello to me, acknowledge my existence. The way he say as usual how he tease me, and pretend nothing happen. 

I don't know how he did it but he somehow just act like nothing happen. After that, I have flashbacks during proj meetings and can't seem to focus. When I was alone, I keep recalling what exactly happen. I hate it when I am trying my very best to sort things out and it messed up again. 

Many unnecessary thoughts keep evading and I just feel so fk up. 

How can he just pretend nothing happen? How can he just forget everything and carry on?

So many "how can he" questions I have been asking myself. Does he even know how much my heart breaks into because of him?

And yes, tears again. I so tired and just want to focus on my studies. 

Just no more relationship tease please.