Finally main tests are over and back to project assignments. Last week, was a torture as I have difficulties doing my revision. Why? As usual for the same damm thing.and tonight yea, for the same damm thing. Tears. Didn't expect to come tonight. Heartbreaks. Didn't expect it to come at all.
Can anybody tell me how I get over him, forget him, focus on my life?! Why I had allow myself to such a stage? A stage when u miss that person miserably and you don't even know if he even give a damm. My heart is tearing bit by bit every time I think if him, when I'm trying to heal. And yet, I myself wanna talk to him so much.

Didn't expect it to leave such a deep impression inside my heart.

Didn't went for mon morning lesson as I overslept. The night before was really miserable for me. I couldn't sleep despite trying very hard. I kept on thinking about him and teared but I controlled.  

 Went to school for afternoon lesson and guess what. Yea, I saw him.  This time was at the canteen. I didn't realise he was there only when he said hello to me. My mimd was blank when I noticed his existence. And I just look at him blankly and wave back and walked away. This time was really eye-contact. I wasn't ready for this and I kind of break down. The feeling is sucky when you and another person were so close and now you don't even dare to say a proper hello. And damm it, I do still want him.

It's the month of March and my 120 days coming to an end. But I don't see myself getting any better. I still miss him. I know I do want him; going back to those days. I read back our convo again, I laughed and cry at the same time. What a joke, right?! he came into my dreams again. I miss him so much and I don't know what to do and find myself thinking about him . Does he know how much I miss him and how much I want to talk to him? Doubt so. If give me one more chance to go back, I will ask him on that night what are we now and who I am to him. I wish he could answer all my qns but eventually no.

A.S
I don't know if you will b reading this but I really want to know what came across your mind when you saw me or someone mention my name. And did you even have a split second wanna text me or to you, I'm just a passer-by?